Tyra’s Beef Curtains

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Have the producers of America’s Next Top Model lost their f-ing minds? I guess tarantulas and under water photo shoots are soooo cycle seven… Tonight’s episode featured the models (if you can call them that) wearing slabs of raw meat as turtlenecks, bras and even panties, giving a whole new meaning to the term roast beef curtains. First of all, I’d like to say that up until I watched this episode I was a healthy carnivore who never really bothered to ask where my meat comes from. Call me crazy, but I guess I just trusted the FDA when they tell me my meat is “Grade A” or “no nasty skank rubbed her nipple on it”. Well I trust no longer. I’ll definitely be rethinking the Kobe Beef Sliders or the New York Strip next time I’m out, and you should do the same. That is unless you like your steak marinated in vapid, anorexic model juice.

Thanks Tyra…I fucking hate tofu.

Not only were the “models” draped in meat, but the photo shoot took place inside a giant Frigidaire in the Meat Packing District of Manhattan which the “models” treated as if it were their own closet of beef couture; clawing, fondling and even straddling the carcasses. Doesn’t that just make you want to zip right on over to Smith & Wollensky’s and order one rare? The photo shoot was uninspired and reminiscent of a PETA ad, but lacking in passion (apparent by the dumb expression on every girl’s face) and lacking PETA’s one saving grace…Pam Anderson’s double D’s. To put it nicely, I was thoroughly disgusted.

At least afterward, the ladies (if you can call them that) had good reason to vomit up anything they’d eaten that day.

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