Puck Off, Palin…I Nominate My Mom!

I want to start by saying that Sarah Palin seems like a sweet woman, good mom, intelligentcapable…okay, scratch that…she’s kind of likable. There we go…likable. Maybe. And she proved she can read a teleprompter. But is this the measure of the Vice Presidency? I know the past eight years have muddled the description of both President and Vice President – ‘dipshit’ became a requirement to hold the Presidential office, and ‘smug asshole’ became the norm for Vice, but McPalin would take this country to a whole new level of stupid. The one good thing that could come from this dynamic duo teaming up is a good old fashioned, NRA approved hunting trip…If Palin is as good of a shot as Cheney, maybe we kill two Dodo Birds with one stone.

There will be those who argue that Sarah Palin’s speech at the RNC was impressive. I would argue that your expectations were LOW to begin with. What was so impressive? Was it her ‘I’m rubber, you’re glue’ tone delivered in that nasally, Fargo-esque voice? Or were you impressed with how she said “John Sssss. McCain” like she knew the biggest secret in town. Please, do NOT be fooled by this self proclaimed, small town girl’s lipstick-wearing-pit-bull routine. “I’m just your average hockey mom…” Come on… She was likable. That’s it. And I know plenty of other likable women whom I would NOT vote for, but at least take seriously, before I even thought about Sarah Palin.

On a serious note, what about Kay Bailey Hutchinson or Elizabeth Dole? I’m on the Biden train, but wouldn’t one of these women be a better choice for running mate? Why not Charlize Theron…she’s likable enough? Chelsea Handler (LOVE her)? My next door neighbor (a really cool chick)? Your Mom? My Mom…? The list goes on. The similarities between Sarah Palin and MY MOM are actually quite astounding and still MY MOM would be a better choice for VP. Take a looksie…

Palin was raised in a small town. MY mother was raised in a small town!

Palin served on the PTA…MY mother served on the PTA!

Palin is raising five kids with her Eskimo-husband Todd. MY MOM raised five kids, without A Todd around, while holding down a more-than-full-time job…two boys and three girls – NONE of which knocked anyone up or got knocked up at 17. Oooh, damn…point for Palin.

Palin was runner-up to Miss Alaska 1984…MY MOTHER was a Michigan Pageant Queen and WON! That means she actually went home with the crown. Take that, beotch.

Palin is a Hockey Mom (*note: if you drive the carpool once a month and provide Sunny D. for the kids, you are granted the coveted Hockey Mom status). MY MOM not only drove the carpool and gave out juice boxes, but she also attended every game AND coached 13 different teams for five different kids, over 20 years. That’s what the hockey world calls a Hat Trick. BAM. Puck off, Palin.

Palin was passionate about her efforts to cut wasteful spending…like the “luxury jet” that was “over the top” or her attempt to “muddle” through life without a personal chef… MY MOTHER could burn a pop-tart in a toaster, but she always had dinner (cereal or mac & cheese) on the table, she didn’t fly until she was 20, and she made a dollar stretch a mile. I’ll even guarantee she has the receipts to prove it. Sorry you had to forego your private jet, Sarah…Maybe you could’ve kept it if you didn’t spend so much on that Pearl Necklace you wore last night…Or was that a gift from Todd? 

Palin’s speech was so modest, she even admitted that she drives herself to work everyday. WOW…this is getting eerie, now…MY mom also drives herself to work. Cray-zee.

Since this whole election has turned into one giant shit show, I don’t see any reason why I can’t use this blog, 10 hours before McCain officially accepts the Republican nomination alongside his running mate, to nominate My MOM for Vice President 2008! We thank you ahead of time for your support and want you to know we are doing everything we can to have her trained to use a high powered rifle to kill innocent animals and/or people if they get in her way. AND, if it helps matters, she has no opinions on foreign policy either…JUST LIKE SARAH PALIN!

In summation, I’d just like to thank the Republicans, on behalf of Obama supporters everywhere, for choosing Palin, and in effect, banking on mediocrity to win this election. You are forever in my debt. -Love always and long live the Polar Bear, Harman

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8 Comments

Filed under Humor, Politics

8 responses to “Puck Off, Palin…I Nominate My Mom!

  1. Lydia

    brilliant Harman! spot on! Lynette for VP, she’s going to put coke in the drinking fountains!

  2. Christian

    Sharman Babs… I heart this.

  3. Aunt KiKi

    Did you miss this my Sweet (SWEET) niece?

    http://www.news3online.com/index.php?code=31KE142x4IXs06GtR56m

    You are too funny girl! But a true realist! So make sure your vote goes to your Aunty, so she can fly around in Jets, drink Coors Light, and bring a true “Party” to this Country!!!!!! God Bless America!!!!!

    Smoochezz, Aunt Cyndi

  4. Wow………… SARAH has sparked a fire up in here.
    lmfao
    woooooooo hooooooooooooooooooooooo
    here is an exerpt from a ranting woman her own self…………
    if nothing else we got em all running SKEERED………
    lololol
    thanks for sharing…….. seems it’s the hot topic of the year.
    lets see how many women can hack on sarah palin for no reason other than
    to try to make themselves look superior. lolololol
    the democrats that is.
    this is halarious stuff…………. shows her ”real talent is stupidity!!!!!!!!!!!!

    LMFAO THAT IS A HOOT………
    HER STUFF IS INCREDIBLY STUPID AND CORNY BUT GOT LAUGHS……. LIKE YOU SAID SHE IS FUNNY!!! LIKE A CRUTCH OR A HEARTATTACK LOL
    BUT LIKE YOU SAY IT’S HER OPINION.
    I GUESS SHE ALSO WANTED HILARY IN THE WHITE HOUSE. YOU CAN TELL THAT SHE IS NOT
    VERY SMART OR ELEGANT.

    LIKE I SAID I AM NOT VOTING FOR MCCAIN BUT I DAMN SURE AIN’T
    GONNA SPOUT OFF LIKE SARAH IS THE ”ONLY WOMAN” THAT CAN BE IN
    THE WHITE HOUSE……
    LOTS OF WOMEN RAISE THEIR KIDS ALONE…….. NOT A SUPERMAN FEAT FOR SURE.
    I’M NOT SO SURE HER .
    MOM WAS A WONDERFUL WOMAN AS SHE THINKS……BUT I KNOW SHE DID NOT HAVE THE BALLS
    TO TAKE ON POLITICS SO APPARENTLY IT WASN’T HER BAG OR MAYBE DIDN’T HAVE IT IN HER TO
    DO ANYTHING ABOUT THE MEN TAKING OVER…. OH YEA SHE WAS RAISED WHERE THAT IS ALL THEY DID
    SHE OBVIOUSLY HAD TO BE ”SPECIAL” CAUSE SHE DID WHAT MOST WOMAN THAT AGE DID AND DIDN’T OURS DIDN’T WHINE OR BRAG OVER IT.
    SHE HAD NO OUTSTANDING QUALITYS OUR MOMS DIDN’T HAVE THATS FOR SURE!!!!!!!
    SO HER MOM AIN’T ANY MORE SPECIAL THAN MOST OF OUR MOMS…… SHE NEEDS TO GET OVER HERSELF. SHE ALSO MENTIONED
    THAT WHAT SHE SAID ABOUT ”HER” MOM……….. HOW MANY DADS AND MOMS WERE ACTUALLY IN THAT FAMILY???????

    HER SISTER IS A BIT PREJUDICE AS WELL……….. DANG……… ESKIMO HUSBAND.
    WHAT’S UP WITH THAT?? IS THAT LIKE OBAMA AND HIS ”BLACK” WIFE???????

    SARAH LIVED OFF THE POWER GRID FOR YEARS AND SUBSISTANCE HUNTING IS FOR ”FOOD” IN ALASKA
    EVERYTHING SHIPPED IN BY BOAT WE ARE NOT SPOILED TO THE BONE LIKE OTHERS WHO
    HAVE SUPER SUPER MARKETS IN THE STATE AND ON EVERY CORNER A 7-11 AND TACO BELL………..
    ALASKANS HAVE ONE CHAIN OF SUPERMARKETS HERE AND UNTIL
    A FEW YEARS AGO EVERYONE FROM ALL OVER ALASKA HAD TO DRIVE TO ANCHORAGE TO EVEN GET TO A STORE.

    HOW STUPID CAN SOME PEOPLE BE TO THINK THAT JUST BECAUSE THESE SO CALLED ”MEN” GO
    TROPHY HUNTING FOR PLEASURE DOESN’T MEAN THAT ALASKANS DO.
    ALOT OF US HUNTED AND STILL HUNT TO FEED OUR CHILDREN. IT’S THE TOURISTS FROM ALL THOSE LOWER
    48 STATES THAT KILL FOR THE FUN OF IT. WE HAVE LAWS THAT SAY YOU MUST SALVAGE AND USE ALL MEAT
    OR GO TO JAIL AND LOSE YOUR HUNTING PRIVILEDGES ALONG WITH YOUR GUNS, BOAT, PLANE OR WHATEVER ELSE YOU
    GOT TO GO HUNTING WITH.
    HAVE HER AND HER SISTER SEE HOW MANY ALASKANS ACTUALLY KILL OTHER ANIMALS FOR TROPHYS………. OR FOR ENTERTAINMENT
    OR FOR PRESIDENTAL RATINGS FROM MORONS THAT CAN’T AIM AT THE BROAD SIDE OF A BARN.
    THEN YOU LOOK AT HER BLOG PICTURE AND WHAT IS SHE DOING………….. HOLDING AN ”INNOCENT” ANIMAL SHE HERSELF KILLED……….. TWO FACED AND FAKE!!!!!!!!!!!

    BUT IT WAS ENTERTAINING TO SEE HOW THE DEMOCRATS THINK………… BACK ASSWARDS.

    TELL THAT GIRL SHE IS CRAZYIER THAN SHE EVEN KNOWS…….. YES SARAH READ OFF A PROMPTER,,,,, DUH WHO DON’T IN THE ENTERTAINMENT CLUB………….

    BUT SHE HAS ALWAYS WRITTEN HER OWN PATH TO WHERE SHE IS. AND HER OWN SPEACHES TIL NOW.
    AND FOR GODS SAKE SEND THIS TO YOUR LIST SO OTHERS CAN SEE THE HACKING JOB SIMPLE MINDED WOMEN ARE
    SAYING ABOUT A STRONG ONE. OBVIOUSLY THAT GIRL HAS SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS WITH WOMEN IN AUTHORITY
    AND THANK GOD SHE IS NOT SOMEONE TO ”BELIEVE IN” LMFAO!!
    I AM SURE THAT THE AMERICAN PEOPLE KNOW THAT THIS IS MERE CRAP AND SHE NEEDS A BIT OF ATTENTION, NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT SHE LIVES IN LA?????
    SHESH………….. NOT A DAY TO GO TO THE BEACH IN YOUR THONG BIKINI??? OH YEA YOU CAN’T EVEN SPELL EXERCISE.
    BET THAT PIC WAS TAKEN YEARS AND YEARS AND POUNDS AGO………………. LOL
    WHAT A RIOT…….. SOME PEOPLES KIDS THINK THEY ARE THE SHIT………… AND THIS ONE IS RIGHT SHE IS NOTHING BUT DONKEY DOO DOO.
    LMFAO!!

  5. Abigail Smart

    THIS WEBSIGHT IS MODERATED FOR GREAT COMMENTS ONLY………………. HUH?????
    WELL HOW APPROPIATE. SEEMS YOU ARE NOT ONLY A RANTING LUNATIC BUT YOU ARE ALSO RUNNING SKEERED OF THE TRUTH.
    SO BE IT.
    LMFAO

  6. harmanhouse

    Thank you for your insights, Abigail Smart…though it seems your last name may be a contradiction.

  7. jennifer quinlan

    wow…………….. Abigail is Palin your Mother?

  8. this was great! And we are right there with you.

    Check out PUCKYOUPALIN.COM it was
    created for and dedicated to all those individuals (including hockey moms)
    who are insulted, disappointed and just fed up with Sarah Palin.

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